I need to be inspired, in order to feel the desire to want to live in this world. There are days in which it seems a cavernous echoing of energies overwhelms all conscious thought, as though I am a wave unable to dissolve back into its ocean. Positioned in this way within myself, the self feels dismembered and sectioned; all parts see the others' locations, but swelling resolution of inner unity mystifies.
Nocturnal creative activities seem empowered somehow beyond those realized within the light of day. It is as if the night awakens my soul, and I am, for a short while, freed from the limitations of culture, relationship, and ego. In this quiet place at night, I move within myself to the holy location, and devotedly wait. I sense His Presence, and I yearn for a heightening. This does not manifest a response, so I change my approach, and accept that 'I' am nothing without Him, and that He has to show up. This is because I have found Him out and know that He is 'I', even if it seems otherwise.
I am here for the lessons of the world. We all are. Our manufacturer requirements are sublimation of all desires, in preference for Him. It is not a game; the gravity of the situation (living life) has corresponding outplays: pain, anguish, remorse, envy, etc. These are the ugly habitual tendencies of the mind, wherein one digs his own hole, and has to figure out the correct mechanism of thought in order to navigate profitably out of it.
This mechanism is the conscious realization of God's Spirit. How does a thinking, fluid human being, with quirks, history, and resolve figure out how to do this? The answer is found in a specific mental orientation to reality, wherein His Will is the Lens of the mind.
Daily devotional meditations, before the day and after, are a regular practice, one in which it is paramount that the mind's expanded focus be upon Him. I would rather have my focused mind upon His Spirit than on any physical thing, elusive memory, or etheric image. What I desire is His Spirit; His Presence is my living inspiration.